The Onion

"'Well Here's What Won't Pass,' Obama Says Before Listing 35 Proposals"

            In the State of the Union address, President Obama presented the American public with his outline and a summary of what he has planned for the upcoming year. The address consisted of President Obama listing off thirty-five proposals that “he acknowledged will never be approved by Congress.” Obama abruptly approached the House of Representatives podium without acknowledging or shaking hands with any of the several political leaders attending the event. He commenced his two and a half minute speech to the viewers and attendees of the State of the Union by mumbling, “Let’s get this over with,” and continued by reading a list of propositions one by one. “Well, I’ve got a bunch of stuff here that’s not getting through Congress, so here it goes,” began Obama as he refused to make any eye contact with the television cameras, let alone anyone in the congressional chamber. President Obama briefly mentioned policies such as raising the capital gains tax rate to twenty eight percent, a new fee on large banks, free community college, closing the trust fund loophole, tripling the child-care tax credit, and more. He continued to speak in an unbroken monotone and left no pauses between any proposals. The president upheld a steady pace throughout the speech to take over the audience’s attempts at applause so that he could go through the list of unreachable goals as quickly as possible. Aside from staring at his list, President Obama took each page of his speech as he completed it and threw it into the trash. The president concluded the speech by adding, “Well, good night. And God bless the United States of America,” as he walked away from the podium. The Republican Party announced that the official response would be “Yup.”

            President Obama’s State of the Union address is being satirized since he has a Republican majority in congress, so he knows that all these proposals will be turned down. The strongest and most prominent technique used in this news report is parody, where they ridicule the propositions and make it obvious that none of them will pass. The author took an original plot and exaggerated it to a tremendous extent.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/well-heres-what-wont-pass-obama-says-before-listin,37811/